im gay
i know
yea but for you.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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