dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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