I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
