The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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