I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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