I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
