Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
