i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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