check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
