You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
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