So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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