So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
