Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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