Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
