This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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