The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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