he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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