yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
