I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
