AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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