That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
