hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
