Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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