i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
