This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
