my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
