Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
