but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
