why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
