Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
