my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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