He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
