i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
