I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
