i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
