I like my sex mixed with concussions.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
