He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
