I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
