oh god the rape fog is back!
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
