you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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