Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
