I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
No more Irish car bombs ever.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
