i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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