Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
