mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
