you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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