The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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