i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
