OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
