just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
