is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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