rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
