i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
